Last night, some of the most painful 4 hours of a rather soap opera worthy year transpired. What was up with CAL's defense? Was Aaron Rodgers wearing his lucky Joe Montana shirt on backwards? Disgrace and disappointment. I hated the commentary about the Pac-10 being a BS league and Cal being over-rated. They didn't play like a 4th ranked team last night, that is for sure, but they also didn't play like they did all season. Thankfully, my apartment seems well insulated for sound. I couldn't stop the periodic expletive from shooting from my mouth. I did sort of like the slightly obnoxious Cal commercial with Tedford speaking to the team in a very erudite fashion, with the tagline being that Coach Tedford doesn't usually speak like this, but it's nice to know that he could.

As the year comes to a close, there's much on which to reflect. The year has been fraught with huge job changes, disappointment in the character of others, significant misunderstandings that have resulted in alienation, and far less sleep that I thought humanly possible. On the positive side, I feel optimistic. Stupid ass shit will always happen. Belaboring it and worrying about it does no one any good. Focusing on what went wrong only to the extent that travels along the path forward are smoother is an important step I've taken and hope to continue to take. While some people choose their misery, I am choosing my liberty. The juxtaposition of my friend's suicide with my exposure to the pura vida lifestyle of the Costa Ricans and my need to rejuvenate had a more profound impact on me than I initially would have guessed. I connected with some outstanding people this year and have emerged with a handful of stories that will provide great fodder for my creative endeavors. Thank you Mand, South Poler, Crazy V, Miss C, Sar Bear, Bri, BAD Ho, running man, kung fu boy, pretty P, crazy C, and Em for meaningfully contributing to the enjoyment I've experienced this past year.

Schoolhouse Rock claimed that three was a magic number. If three is all I can get, I try to make the best of it. I attempt to coax it into more, changing positions to enhance its appeal. The caress of a soft sheet and a little imagination can make it seem like more than it is.

The night before last, three was my magic number. I was glad to give it up, because the conversation was so good and so important.

But last night I got five and a half, and I am a new woman. My walk is a little different. I have a more alive look on my face. My smile comes more easily.

Sleep is so precious....

... as are good friends. Last night's excuse for shortened REM cycles was dinner with the ladies. Chilling in sweats, washing down homecooked thai food with tap water, and dishing the dirt.

Important lessons learned:

-Don't cook the tom yum for too long - it boils down and gets really strong.
-A pretty boy can make for pretty placemats.
-Bite the apple. Go ahead, just bite it.
-Rely on CrazyV to come up with a great screen for one's sense of humor.
-I know this one from before, but it deserves repeating: CrazyV's friendship is much more important than a bite of the Mars bar.

I had a lovely lunch with my coworkers today. I debated taking my phone, knowing my sister was supposed to call me from the Coach outlet to tell me what was on sale so I could get her to pick up some special treats for me.

I returned to my office to find that I had missed 6 calls. My God, was the whole store 75% off? I hoped that to be the case. I rang up my sister who calmly said, "Um yeah, we're still in Las Vegas. Our car blew up, so we're waiting here now and we probably aren't coming back until tomorrow."

I thought that maybe the engine was over heating or there was a little problem with the oil or something relatively minor.

She said, "I was trying to call you because we were worried whether we would have to pay $25,000 for the car or whether insurance would cover it."

Of course, this gets me wanting more details about what had happened. A minor break down does not equate to questions regarding the replacement value of a crappy vehicle. I suppose my sister is not one to speak in hyperbole, because she was being quite literal when she said, in her relatively calm voice, "Our car blew up."

She described, "The elevator door opened, and we saw that there was a car on fire. I thought - thank goodness it's not our car." Her husband was quick to point out, "Oh shit, that's the car next to ours."

The fire had spread, burning not only the car that started the fire but my sister's rented car as well. I had offered to lend my vehicle for the road trip, and now I'm selfishly quite glad they decided to rent.

The police and fire department were on the scene, not really doing much about the conflagration. My sister and brother-in-law's stuff inside is all ruined, including a gift of a Pottery Barn chenille blanket I had just given her the night before they departed on their adventure.

The hotel staff wasn't particularly helpful either. My sister was not allowed to go back to the scene of the fire, and she was told to return in a while. She urged them with her passive aloha spirit, "Do you want our phone numbers to contact us if you need to?" It sounded like they weren't particularly receptive.

It's unbelievable the things that can happen during lunch.

The kids in the South Pole (our term of affection for our cold ass office) are bumming hard today, for obvious reasons. We haven't been productive. We are in a horrible funk. Our only hope is that this short fall causes Aaron Rodgers to stick around for one more year. Come on Aaron, finish up your degree. Quit talking about how the Joe Montana shirt has to live for just one more game!

My office mate's house fund didn't shrink by $250 as a result of not having to spend money on Rose Bowl tickets, though it was a cost he was looking forward to incurring. He planned his whole holiday trip around getting back to Southern California to be in Pasadena. I am somewhat relieved that I didn't pull the trigger last week when I had two Michigan-side tickets in my hands and was bumming the next day that I hadn't bought them. This morning, I had a few Holiday Bowl tickets in my online shopping cart, and I let them expire, not yet able to come to terms with having to travel further south than expected.

In happier news, I endured significant stress and exhaustion, but I am now able to speak to the public about some of their investment options. A note to others - please don't cram for the Series 7 test in 3 days. It's not pretty. In fact, it sucks ass!

AT&T is a fraudulent company, aimed at ripping off customers who don't examine each of the hundreds of line items of every bill. I have been plagued by the solicitation calls during dinner for over a decade now, despite my requesting to be removed from their call lists. Twice now, they've stolen my business by automatically signing me up for residential wireline long distance service and charging me for ths witch and for the right to make a long distance call from my wireline phone. I never requested the switch. I never wanted to be their customer. I don't even use the wireline phone. I have never once made a long distance call from the wireline phone. And I never gave them permission to claim me as a customer and charge me for the privilege of being able to provide service if I want it, which I don't. When I called in months ago after finally realizing I was paying $10 a month for nothing, they were rude and said I was sent a letter telling me I was being ripped off, so I should bend over.

And now, I have come to find out that they have been charging me for equipment protection and text messaging on my wireless phone. Again, I never requested these features and never use them. I never agreed to have these features associated with my phone. I don't want them and never did.

AT&T sucks ass. Good luck, Cingular, cleaning up the fraudulent mess that you acquired.

Yesterday, I arrived at work at 5:30AM - a typical start to my day. Chatted with my office mate and was so hungry, I ate the lunch I brought as the second course to my breakfast.

Got down to work taking a practice Series 7 exam, scoring an impressive 61.6%. Ugh.

Hungry. Walked to Safeway for lunch. Note to self - a salad kit, even though it's intended to feed multiple servings, just doesn't fulfill hunger. A salad kit plus two huge bowls of cereal fulfills hunger, but is not satiating.

One of our key companies is under investigation in Europe and another reported earnings. Work, work, work, and more work.

Talked to my cousin. She wonders, given that I get in so early, don't I also leave early? No. Rarely. Really never.

Grabbed dinner, including a brownie that looked appetizing but hitting my tongue was disappointing as all bought brownies have been in my many years of experience. Treated myself to a frappucino, believing I would need the pick me up. Too busy to actually eat the food.

Left work at 7:30PM and raced home to get to ceramics. Made some things that weren't particularly inspired, but it was my final opportunity to create before the class is over.

Drove to house #2 to drop off my car, as parking at house #1 is now restricted and towing will be enforced.

Got on MUNI and studied. Missed my stop because I was so engrossed in understanding option spreads. My heart still had slight palpitations from the remnant frappucino, and I felt like throwing up.

Home at 11PM. Discovered $20 was missing from my apartment. I had a pile of cash out from my weekend of selling imported goods and arts and crafts. Definitely $20 missing. No question about it. A workman had come the day before. Damn it.

In bed at 11:30PM but unable to sleep. Pissed about being ripped off. Stressed about test. Hungry.

Woke up at 3:30AM and got dressed to attend morning meeting. Checked blackberry. We were bumped. Too many speakers.

Tried to nap for another hour. Couldn't, despite exhaustion.

In the office by 5:30AM. Madness.