I'm still in Bangkok, though my impression of the city has improved somewhat since we found a decent hostel with no visible dead mice and air conditioning and a hot water shower. The bathroom is missing a sink, but what good is a sink without a drain pipe anyway? To top it off, we arrived after 3AM, so we got to check in and sleep that morning and that night, and it only counted as one night, saving us around $7 - bonus!

We made our way, via public bus system, to the Vietnam Embassy to retrieve our passports. All went smoothly, except Robin still wasn't feeling 100%, so we decided to delay our departure until tomorrow. Traffic in Bangkok is crazy. The fumes are enough to make a person start smoking to improve lung quality. The street lights are manually operated by someone in a uniform who sits in a booth at busy intersections. I caught one dozing today. My casual non-statistically significant observation also suggests that the Thai people may not be very interested in literature. I've seen most adults on the bus reading comic books (Yes Rick, you claim to be an avid reader, but do comic books really count?) or books with more pictures than words.

As for literature, long ago, I finished the one non-travel book I brought with me and all of my magazines. At the guest house in Chiang Mai, I traded a fashion magazine for Hawaii, the thousand plus page epic. I've wanted to read it since living in Hawaii in 1997, hearing about how my clients were represented in the fictional work. I figured I flew through the book I brought, so this would keep me occupied on long bus rides. What a freakin nightmare of a book! I'm obviously (and yes, usually) in stream of consciousness mode. Back to the trip...

Today, we saw Jim Thompson's home. Who's Jim Thompson, you ask? Excellent question. He was an American who moved to Thailand and revived the art of making silk. He mysteriously disappeared in the Cameron Highlands in Malaysia. But, he had erected a Thai estate before his disappearance. His home is filled with antiques from all around the world. With the help fo a kind lady who must be used to seeing foreigners walking through the back alleys with puzzled expressions, we finally found our way to his hidden home and took a compulsory tour that was given in unintelligible English. The art and architecture were interesting.

We had a rather horrible dinner at this cafe that was showing a pirated version of a movie. We heard audience laughter in the background and saw the top of someone's head throughout the picture... oh wait, there really wasn't a throughout, since the movie abruptedly ended about 80% of the way through.

Much of my Thailand experience has centered around the wonderful food. My mom visited over a decade ago, and she still recalls how delicious the chicken leg was that she bought from a street vendor. I'm at the point of not wanting to eat in "real" restaurants. The street vendor food is half the price (we're talking $0.12 for a Thai omelette over rice, vegetarian pad thai, a fruit smoothly, a delicious chicken leg - mom was right! - and $0.25 for fried pork with garlic and basil over rice or a banana and fudge crepe) and twice as good. So far, no stomach issues! But everything is fried or high in fat (well, at least my choices seem to be), so I admittedly feel satiated yet disgusting at the same time.

As for onward travel, originally, we were planning on heading for Cambodia next. Then we changed our minds and wanted to go to Laos. Given timing of long bus rides, Robin's desire to not take an overnight trip, and the fact that we can (supposedly) get our Cambodia visas at the border, we are departing for Siem Reap tomorrow morning at 6:30AM. Supposedly, there is tremendous corruption in Cambodia. Teachers solicit bribes from their students. Traffic cops wait to catch pedestrian offenders and shake them down for a couple of bucks. Now, most of you know that I don't stand for this corrupt bullshit, so the trip to Cambodia will be interesting. I will have to remember what dealing with the passport agent taught me - I am capable of holding my tongue, from time to time.

Supposedly, Internet access in Cambodia is painfully slow and surprisingly expensive at $11 an hour. So, the next entry may be from Vietnam... if I can free myself from Cambodian jail. I'll try to be good.

Today is Tyler's first birthday. My family will celebrate with a large party in his honor, as it's the Hawaiian custom to go all out on a baby's first birthday.

I've spent the last few days touring Chiang Mai on my own while Robin has become quite familiar with room 4 of the Chiang Mai Garden Guest House. We stayed in a different room at the same guest house prior to our trek. The first room didn't have a flush toilet. Our more recent room had a flush toilet, but no drain pipe from the sink. I turned on the sink water for the first time only to discover my legs and feet getting wet! And, the toilet was on a pedestal. Odd Thai architecture and planning.

We got back to the guest house Thursday evening after a 2 hour ride in the back of a songtaw, a covered truck with benches that can uncomfortably hold a dozen people. We were the only two passengers on the ride into town, so Robin fashioned a sleeping area in the middle to lie down, while I hung my head out the back and tried to keep from breathing the awful diesel fumes. There were many hairpin turns, so I was feeling a bit sick.

I spent Friday walking through the day market - mostly locals shop there. I was mistaken for a Thai all over the place.

Saturday, I took another cooking class. It was great. We went to the market and learned about each of the key ingredients in Thai cooking - how to pick the best fruits and vegetables, how to store them, and what can be used as substitutes if they aren't available. I picked up more general cooking tips and learned how to make 7 more dishes - they turned out well. And, I got a cookbook full of Thai recipes. Apparently, Chiang Mai is becoming known as a great place in Thailand to take cooking classes.

Saturday evening, I went to the night market, which was bustling. The Thai definitely expect bargaining, but when their starting price is more than twice my wilingness to pay, I just don't see a point wasting our time.

Robin is feeling better, so we decided to leave for Bangkok today. The owner of our guest house said that there are buses that leave for Bangkok every hour or so. We took a tuk tuk (a two seater open, but covered, scooter) to the bus station and found that all the tickets for around noon were sold out. The earliest bus we could take departs at 4:30, so we've been killing time before getting on our "Super VIP bus" (very important words in Asian - avoid anything called a mini-bus for a ride longer than half an hour!) for the 10 hour drive to Bangkok.

In Bangkok, we will pick up our passports and probably head for Laos through Thailand. We were originally planning on going to Cambodia first, but we may not be able to get a visa with the land crossing from Thailand to Cambodia, so we're changing our plans.

We've heard that Laos is amazing. It's beautiful, and the people are friendly. It's not heavily travelled, so it's apparently a more authetic experience than Thailand and Vietnam. Looking forward to it!

My Chiang Mai adventure really began back in Bangkok. And, since I have a bit of time to kill, am one for detail orientation, and have been horrible at keeping a personal journal, largely because writing by longhand versus typing bores me, I will go into detail.

Bangkok is kind of a shitty city, compared to other places I've been in the region. We left Ko Tao (beautiful place, even if the electricity is turned off daily between 6:30AM and 8:30AM), by ferry, transferring to a bus to Bangkok. We arrived 2 hours later than planned at a bit before 11PM. We walked around the city trying to find a place to sleep for the night, and we came across some really nasty (mildew infested) places. Tired from lugging our packs, walking around in the humidity, even that late at night, and tired from spending about 12 hours in transit, we settled on a real shit hole. It was a nasty little room with no bathroom and cost us $9 US, primarily because it had AC. We've noticed that most placed with AC in the room are a little less prone to horrible mildew smells. The common bathrooms were gross. I saw a dead mouse in plain view early the next morning. It was there hours later when I had to knock rather loudly on the guest house's adjoining restaurant to rouse the guy to accept our key for check out.

We made our way to the train station. We thought it was closer than it was, and I wanted to see the city, so we walked. Big mistake with such heat and humidity. We dropped the packs, and I'm convinced we were charged 3 times as much as the locals. We had a pleasant cab ride to the Vietnam embassy. On the cab ride back, we tried to explain where we wanted to go with a multi-prong approach - showing the map and pointing to the circled train station, pronouncing the name of the train station in broken Thai, and saying "choo choo and moving my arm like a train." The cabby seemed to understand "choo choo." We said "Chiang Mai," indicating it's the long distance train station we needed. He took us to the light rail system, then seemed to indicate he couldn't get us the 2 kilometers back to the train station and we should take another cab. Robin got out, and the cab driver started yelling at me because he wanted his cab fare. So, I was the ugly American and refused to pay. As it was, his driving us out of the way cost us extra. We ended up in a cab in which the driver had to use a screw driver to tighten something on the engine at every possible stopping point.

We made it to our 2:55PM train. Robin was particularly excited (well, that is probably going overboard to express his feelings) to take the train, given his profession is in railcar / transportation logistics. What a horrible decision. Not only did the train cost us twice as much as a bus, but it took damn near twice as long, with our arrival into Chiang Mai at 5:45AM. And, it was a horrible ride. It stopped every half hour, was incredibly hot and swarming with mosquitos - I think all of the biting mosquitos found me and didn't disturb anyone else. It lurched randomly and was quite loud. To top it off, we the stupid foreigners, were treated to special meal service. We had to order our meals in advance. It seemed somewhat mandatory, based on the waiter's approach. He recommended the sweet and sour chicken. Gross! And, even more gross was that Robin decided to go with that selection. I chose garlic pepper pork - I'm on a mission to find something nearly as good as the Berkeley Thai house's dish of that name. Still looking. I am so thankful that when mine was delivered, it was chicken. The waiter tried to pass off the nasty neck pieces of chicken as pork, as if I'm stupid. I refused the meal. He seemed to understand, as he cleared it away. When it came time to pay up, he still charged us for it. I should note that the cost of these meals was twice the going rate in town for half the portion and about 10% of the quality.

Robin took over with the negotiations, as I have little patience for such crap, especially with mosquitos swarming around me. The waiter said he would personally have to pay for the meal, and he said it wasn't his fault that the cook was probably drunk while making our meals which is why he screwed up. Anyway, in the end, we didn't pay for my meal. Oddly enough, my tape worm wasn't acting up that evenng, so I didn't starve.

We relaxed in Chiang Mai for a day. This is a nice city. More relaxed than Bangkok, with some very friendly people. We took a trip up to Doi Suthep (or something like that - notes are in the hotel). It's a large Wat in the area. I walked around in search of Thai silk and other stuff to buy, though I'm getting good at realizing that I have too much crap.

We were excited about our jungle trek. It was to be 3 days and 2 nights in the jungle, staying with various hill side tribes, taking an elephant ride, rafting on bamboo, and visiting a waterfall. Everyone in the group was nice. I was the only American out of the dozen of us. We made it to the waterfall and the first hillside tribe, Karen. Last night, Robin had a headache. In the middle of the night, he had me feel his forehead - he was burning up. We went minimalist, so we didn't have Tylenol, and I didn't want to wake up the pharmacist sleeping next to us. Like everyone else, we suffered through a long night of sleeping on the floor in the cold (it's cold at elevation), with the sounds of the dogs howling at the moon and the roosters waking up at 4AM. Finally, at 6AM, the pharmacist and lawyer couple woke up, and I got some Tylenol. Robin was still in bad shape, after downing 4 pills. Every movement caused his head to throb. We are in a malaria infested area, but we've been on Malarone, and he doesn't have chills. I think it's a flu of some sort. When you're feeling horrible like that, the thought of a 3 hour hike and 2 hour elephant ride just doesn't appeal, so we headed back to Chiang Mai without finishing the trek.

The day turned out ok. Robin slept in the home of someone from the Chan village, the dropping off point for many local treks. I hung out with a 10 year old little girl named something like Kimut, and I talked with Chan. The pictures from today are some of the best, partly because we haven't been taking many, and partly because it was an opportunity to show Kimut how to use a digital camera, as well as give her some beginning bicycle lessons. We also have some great shots of the sickly Robin... great only because he is feeling much better. Don't think me too cold hearted, now!

I wanted to go on the trek to meet the local people. Robin wanted to see the waterfall. So, we accomplished our main goals, even if we didn't finish.

Now, I'll head back to our guest house and see how the patient is doing. We will probably spend the weekend in Chiang Mai, traveling back to Bangkok (by bus!) on Sunday to get the passports. Given some Laos visa issues, we may now go there and hit Vietnam and Cambodia near the end of our trip in SE Asia.

Getting sunburned in solitude on a boat for 3 hours gives one time to think. A good starting question is to wonder why the boat is taking 3 hours to travel from Ko Pha-Ngan to Ko Tao. It said Express. but I suppose that only means it doesn't stop enroute. And where would it stop? There's nothing between these two islands. Or did I mishear, and I'm really on the boat to Fiji? I've heard about people getting scurvy on long boat rides. Am I at risk? I've been eating fruit, so I should be ok. In fact, should I put that nourishment to use and help the boat along by paddling? Thankfully, I save my efforts, because I needed my energy to jump off to the next boat with pack on and climb off of that boat to the pier where dozens of Thai men were shouting, "Excuse me prease. Where you going? I have good beach bungalow for you. 150 baht."

These past few days of solitude, I've adopted the Thai strategy of pretending not to speak a word of English or Thai. In their cae, they use the position of ignorance to avoid providing any assistance. In my case, it's been to shield myself against unwanted assistance. It's worked, as some Japanese tourists started speaking to me in Japanese and laughed when they found out I'm a yellow skinned, yet blue-blooded American.

I spent a couple of nights on Ko Samui, the last being in a Gilligan's Island style beach bungalow on Lamai beach. In the morning, on my overpriced ride to the pier, there was a European guy who emerged from his bed-bug ridden bungalow with a Thai girl. It's been so interesting to people watch. So many guys with young Thai women. I understand why there's no need for "day use" hotel rates. The service apparently last all night long. It's quite entertaining to watch the guys wanting to feel up and kiss these girls. They allow some degree of touching, but they detest the attempts for kisses on the lips, and they generally have very sad looks on their faces. The whole thing is quite sad and reminiscent of my previous trip to Bangkok.

I spent yesterday on Ko Pha-Ngan, another resort island. I couldn't find a room in the happening area, so I took a taxi to the pier where I would depart today. The bungalows and all but the most disgusting rooms were filled up because of the Full Moon party happening on Monday night. Monday marks a full moon, and with each full moon, there's a huge beach blow out. Apparently, the sight of the sun setting while the full moon is rising is pretty damn cool. We will be enroute to Bangkok and will miss the party.

Today most of my time was spent in transit to Ko Tao, the diving capital of Thailand. I found Robin's bungalow. He said Sunrise Resort number 3. He didn't tell me that there are 2 Sunrise resorts and A3, B3, C3.... Thankfully, he hung something out to dry, so I could identify his place. I easily talked my way into getting keys to the room. In fact, it was so easy, it was cause for some alarm. Oh well, how many people would try such a trick anyway? And if they did and happened accross our stuff, they would probably be disappointed unless, like me, they have a shoe fetish and happen to fit women's size 8.

Have I mentioned that it's hotter than a well digger's ass here? I am quite dark and, unfortunately, red. I've been spraying on sunscreen and bug repellant. My body is covered with mosquito bites, and I try to stay as covered up as possible. I feel like an Asian version of Michael Jackson the way I'm covered up in this heat. By the way, someone should mention to the Euros that when it's this hot, it might be a good idea to bathe. I sat down wind from some guy, and it was making my eyes water.

So much negativity. To end on a positive note, I have a most amazing tasting Coconut shake this morning. It was like Breyer's natural vanilla ice cream, but less creamy. Absolutely delicious.

When I was a little kid, I used to make ramen (it's not just for camping, you know) and I used to proclaim to my mom, "I'm a chef!" I believe I also made such claims while making coffee for my parents. In any case, today, I really was a chef. My cooking course was great. I learned to make Tom Yum seafood soup, a mixed vegetable stir fry, and green curry chicken. I must say, my own cooking is some of the best I've had on the trip, and we've enjoyed some good meals.

I only wish that my accomodations for this evening were in the same category as my lunch. I went to Lamai Beach, also on the island of Ko Samui. It's a bit more rustic than Chaweng. Chaweng is like Waikiki, and this is, well, not. It was so hot when I arrived, on the back of a scooter (a form of taxi, or as they spell in Malaysia "teksi" service on the island) with my full pack on. I started walking around, but tired of it quickly and just wanted to drop the pack off. I found a hut for $8. It has a fan and bathroom, but we're talking Gilligan's Island basic here. I took it, only to find upon my return to the hut that there are quite a few roaches, and not the kind people buy on Haight Street. The water was brown at first, but it sort of cleared up. I couldn't figure out how to flush the toilet - oh, you dump a ton of water in it. Call me high maintenance if you will, but I will be sleeping as fully clothed as possible tonight to protect myself from the elements - roaches, other animals, mosquitoes, general dirt and scum. Thank goodness for the pack of shower wipes I brought along just for situations like this.

I'm now escaping from the heat in a fan-cooled travel office that offers Internet services and sells drinks - they've adopted a portfolio business strategy. There's really not much else to do, except to wait for the sun to go down.

One thing you won't see much of in China - there are dogs everywhere... and the supposed pork actually tastes like pork. They are usually napping on the sidewalk.

Another thing we noticed back in Malaysia is that pretty much all hotel rooms could be rented for "day use." Thankfully, no one ever assumed Robin and I were seeking a day use room. I was mistaken for a local yesterday, though not a local, um, special Thai massage girl. Prior to this trip, I would have thought that day use room rates would have been more prevalent in Thailand than in Malaysia, but we haven't seen any postings here.

Robin's done with his SCUBA course on Saturday night. I'm hoping that we will leave on Sunday for Bangkok. Drop off passports on Monday to get our Vietnam visas, then on to Chiang Mai. For some reason, the filth of camping, a Survivor experience, or a "jungle trek" just doesn't bother me as much as a filthy beach bungalow. Go figure. Maybe it's something in the marketing.

As mentioned in the movie Meet the Parents (Mark, see, I have seen SOME movies), Ko Samui is a beautiful destination. I've been here for the past couple of days. We arrived Tuesday afternoon and stayed at a place recommended by a fellow traveler - Munchies. It's a resort with beach bungalows and a hotel. we opted for the hotel room, as it was cheaper - $20 USD per night with air conditioning, breakfast, and use fo the pool and beach area! Robin wanted to take a SCUBA course, so he left for Ko Tao yesterday morning. I stayed back and lounged on the beach reading fashion and personal investment magazines while fending off offers for a "real" Thai massage. I took a walk along the water and got a sunburn. I escaped a bit to my cool room, then ventured out to shop. In a way, it was nice to be free to wander and look at all of the stores, but when I packed up my things this morning, I was kind of wishing, in retrospect, that Robin had been around to challenge whether I really needed 2 pairs of platform Chinese print flip flops.

Last night, I walked down the Chaweng beach strip (for the third time) to have dinner while watching The Sweetest Thing, which kind of reminded me of our "Angels" nights out on the town. Steph, you should see it. I treated myself to a Thai massage which was OK, but not awesome - perhaps because I'm pretty relaxed right now, so there wasn't the usual tension to work out of my system.

I've served as mosquito food here. I think Robin is finally convinced that I attract them more than others. Reminds me that I should probably start the malaria meds, though there isn't supposed to be a risk on these islands. As a precaution, I've taken to wearing pants almost everyday (not that I have a lot of wardrobe options, even after my shopping spree of yesterday). It's hotter than Hawaii here! But so much cheaper.

Off to cooking classes now! Once Robin and I meet up, we will probably drop our passports off in Bangkok then head up to Chiang Mai for a jungle trek.

I spent 2 days in Penang, Malaysia, also known as Georgetown. It was a quiet, relatively touristy area. The hotel we chose had great potential, as the architecture was interesting. But, it was pretty run down. In fact, the same could be said for most of the city. Part of what's keeping the place in shambles is that rent control has been in effect since the 1950s. A more free market system would encourage owners to maintain their properties, but don't get me started on that topic.

We departed from Krabi on what seemed would be an OK experience. We were picked up from our hotel in a "mini bus." In fact, it was simply a minivan run by some private company. We were expecting a large coach, as that's what we had ridden from Singapore to KL and to Penang. We weren't told in advance that we would have to transfer buses and wait for an hour en route.

At the transfer point of Hat Yai, Thailand, I went exploring to exchange money. What rip off artists! They had horrible exchange rates, but we got rid of our Malaysian money anyway so we could buy some snacks. Unfortunately, I chose something that looked interesting - a fried sugar coated thing. Sounds decent, doesn't it? Well, it ended up having a course ground pepper taste with the sugar. Gross.

At the transfer point, we boarded the new bus and wanted to sit together, but we were told that the front seats had already been reserved, and we had to sit separately in the back of the minibus. We also had asked to make sure the van had AC - well, it probably had the capacity, but they decided not to use it. The driver plugged in a fan that pointed directly at the locals for whom the front seats were "reserved." In addition, whenever a local joined the bus, one of the foreigner's bags was pulled from the back and thrown on top of the van under a tarp. The journey ended up being one hellish 9 hour ordeal. But, we made it safely to Krabi, Thailand.

Today, we took a tour of Phang-Nga, an island that was featured in the James Bond movie, "The Man with the Golden Gun." We rode out to the islands in a long speed boat. Beautiful scenery and a ton of islands - finding the Survivor island would be more challenging than I would have guessed. As part of the tour, we also got a seafood lunch, an hour of rip off shopping, that we had them shorten to 20 minutes, a tour of a cave, and a swim in a national park. All in all, it was a fun experience, though they are obviously making a great margin on the service. Still, it only cost us 700 Baht, which is around $17 USD.

As for prices, they are great in Thailand. We've been eating winner meals for $5, including a large beer. Our hotel room is pretty decent - clean with private bathroom, hot water, and AC - all for about $11 USD.

Tomorrow, we leave Krabi and head to Ko Samui, an island resort area. Robin may get his diving certification. If so, I need to decide whether to hang out at the beach for 4 days, or get a head start up to Chiang Mai for some craft shopping and perhaps a cooking class. We're somewhat concerned about getting our Visas for Vietnam, as that process can apparently take 4 days, and we have no interest in spending 4 days in Bangkok given the other places to visit in Thailand.

We've been meeting some cool people from all around the world. I'm surprised at how many people take a year off to travel. I'm realizing that I'm really not the backpacker type in that I appreciate a clean, hot shower (or 2 or 3) a day, and I like clean sheets and air conditioning... and am willing to pay a relative premuim for such amenities. I can't imagine being on the go for a year, but I've only been at it for a week, so maybe the lifestyle will grow on me.

I got my first mosquito bite today, and so far my brain doesn't feel like it's turning to mush. We haven't started the Malerone, as there isn't supposed to be any risk in the area. Nonetheless, I'm inclined to start.

As for tomorrow's bus and ferry to Ko Samui, we tried to learn our lesson and ask more questions. We tried to reserve seats together near the front of the bus, and we tried to make sure we were taking a large coach with AC that would be turned on. We got lots of smiles and nods, but that seems to be a standard response to most questions. Nonetheless, our nightmare ride from Penang sounded like an anomoly, based on conversations with other wanderers. We'll see!

By the way, I have no plans to go to Bali, and the bombing has been all over the news here, though we're wondering what sort of coverage it's getting in North America.

Only 4 minutes and counting to type and save. We went to the Batu Caves today, taking a rather long bus ride through KL. They were impressive limestone formations with lots of wild monkeys and a ton of litter.

Tomorrow, we will depart for Penang, aka Georgetown, by 5 hour bus.

We're still alive, enjoying lots of great Chinese and Indian food. We've taken to escaping from the humidity with an afternoon nap and strolling around at night. We just returned from the night market and stopped in to use up the last few minutes of our Internet time.

More from either Penang or Thailand.

After 21 hours from airport to airport, I arrived in Singapore. We spent 12 hours in Singapore - just enough time to get a $22 USD hotel room and have a huge cockroach crawl all the way up my body in the middle of the night. The hotel included a curry noodle snack and some water in a cup engineered such that it was impossible to open without spilling.

We took a 6 hour bus ride (Super VIP - only the best!) to Kuala Lumpur, arriving in the middle of a terrible flash flood, and have been here for the past couple of days. KL is relatively cosmopolitan. We saw the Petronas Towers, claimed (by them) to be the tallest buildings in the world, though apparently the CN tower in Canada is taller, says Robin, a Canadian. Because it was so humid out, we hung out in the air conditioned mall for much of the day. I tried on some hoochie clothes - interesting concepts but relatively poor execution.

We've bounced around hotels, opting to spend the little bit extra for a private bathroom and air conditioning. The first place was incredibly small. The second, Hotel Putra, will go down in our memories as Hotel Putrid because of the horrible mildew issue. We hand washed some clothes yesterday morning and they are still wet. The room had a horrible smell that made our eyes water. When we arrived, it didn't smell that way. Robin is convinced they had the maid go up and spray it. She did go up there to "check" the room before we were given the key, and we dropped our stuff off and didn't notice the horrible smell until returning from the Towers. It bothered us all night, so we packed up and are now killing time waiting for a room at the small place to open up.

Today, we plan to take a bus to see the Batu Caves. We may go to the night market. Tomorrow, we will leave for Penang.

By the way, my passport did not arrive on Saturday, so it was a good thing I took care of things on Friday... boy, that was so long ago, back when I felt clean and fresh.

What a stressful day at the passport agency. Ray gave me a tip that he called the $1.50 line twice for Nikki's passport. They were of no use. When he went to the passport office, he got some answers. So, I walked over there and learned that my passport was mailed on October 2 from South Carolina. Given that I have a plane ticket to leave on Sunday, I was told that I could get a new passport issued the same day if I returned before 2PM with a completed application, 2 photos, and my ticket.

Alex was willing to drive his Z3 through the streets of San Francisco on this beautiful day so I could pick up the necessary documents. When I returned to the agency, I was grilled. Why didn't I pay the expediting fee? Why didn't I call the $1.50 number to check on the status? Why was I waiting until today to inquire about a new passport? Didn't I realize that the passport could be lost in the mail? I was told that the decision whether to grant me a same day passport was up to a woman who was at lunch, and I would have to wait to speak with her. I hope that pushy woman got off on her power trip - at least then some good would have come from the 15 minute interrogation.

I've just returned to work with a brand new passport - the trip is on! (Sorry Peter, no karaoke this time around.) And, Robin dealt with the same sort of BS in Toronto this morning, obtaining his passport. So, we're good...at least when it comes to passports.

I will now go through my site and edit, as I was told that someone was going to spread the word about my URL.

Many things still left to do, no written to do list, and an aging mind. Not a good combination.

Future entries should start becoming more interesting. Hopefully the next one will be from Singapore or Malaysia.

I'm making some progress. Got enough Malarone for the entire time in SE Asia. I have finally finished taking the Typhoid meds, though I almost forgot last night. Thankfully, I had a weird, nagging feeling almost the entire evening because I knew that there was something important and time sensitive that I was forgetting. Unfortunately, I have been having that same feeling every morning, and I usually can't figure out what I'm forgetting until I'm halfway to work.

Tonight is a group going away drinking fest, for which I decided to sport a rock star outfit. Since my clothing selection will be severely limited in the next few months, I have to take advantage of my full wardrobe now.

I have a million things to do still, and I may have a lot of time to get them accomplished because... yes, you guessed it, our passports still have not arrived. We sent them in August. We expected them back by now given their projected timelines.

I interrupt myself to report some breaking news. Robin tracked down the status of his passport. The Canadian government charged his credit card, but all they did was transfer his papers from one office to another. So, he has to go into Toronto tomorrow and take care of the remaining paperwork, but he's 99% sure he'll be able to leave with his passport...potentially without greasing the palm of some high end hotel concierge with 3 C notes. (Mark Casey, as opposed to Hinkle, Kadlec, and Peters, shared his story about getting an immediate passport. I may need to resort to such tactics, though that would blow 10% of the overall budget for the trip!)

My option is to call a 1-900 number and pay $1.50 per minute for someone to speak very slowly (the financial incentive is to lack efficiency) and take a long time telling me that my passport is being processed and should show up any day now. So, I will check again today first thing when I arrive home, stumbling and sloppy drunk or not.

We then have to consider what Plan B is. Does Robin leave for Asia without me, and I catch up at some point, maybe? Does Robin wait for me to deal with my passport issue and we go stand by on flights? Ugh. Nightmare.

I was advised that I had to work the phrase "exploding sack of dog shit" into my blog, so why not make it an entry title? The speaker of the phrase repeatedly told me that he did not want me to leave him with "an exploding sack of dog shit." That's giving me some credit. I mean, I don't even own any pets. [Original content deleted.]

By the way, THANKS JOE for checking in on me yesterday after I was on the receiving end of an "exploding sack of dog shit." And thanks, as well, for entering a comment of support to a now hidden ranting.

In travel news, I got my travelers cheques (for the record RA314424898 through RA314424912 and GA326343563). Brian has been keeping me entertained with his commentary about Vietnam (he grudgingly lives there now), thievery from North Face factories, and tips for how I can look like a FOB. Our passports are still MIA. I went shopping for some long sleeved wicking quick dry tops today. I feel like I have a ton to do before I leave.

On the to do list is to get ripped tomorrow night. Details are in the works. Send me an email if you'd like to attend.

Yesterday's big accomplishment was finalizing all flight information. I had to go to a United ticket counter to take care of some last minute details.

My flight itinerary, in case you hear or read about a plane crash and are curious whether I'm involved:

10.6.02 UAL 805 Depart SFO at 12:45PM. Arrive Singapore at 11:40PM.

11.18.02 Thai 991 Depart Bangkok at 5:35PM. Arrive Auckland at 1:00PM.

12.4.02 Thai 992 Depart Auckland 2:30PM. Arrive Sydney at 3:50PM.

12.18.02 Sing 232 Depart Sydney at 1:10PM. Arrive Singapore at 6:00PM.

(Yes, F'ers, I will be thinking of Ramon's comments regarding the loveliness of the Singapore Airlines flight attendants.)

12.21.02 UAL 806 Depart Singapore at 6:50AM. Arrive HK at 10:35AM.

12.23.02 UAL 806 Depart HK at 1:05PM. Arrive SFO at 8:40AM.

I've spent this week trying to wrap up loose ends at work. [Original content deleted.]

By the way, as of this moment, I'm not going to New York this week either. If airline change fees are profit centers, then I may single handedly be able to revive the airline industry.